Respecting others in naturism

ill there be any women?” the voice on the other end of the line asked. The owner of the guesthouse turned towards us, rolled his eyes, and gave us that look that showed he’d had this question many times before.

“Why is it important to you?” he asked. The caller responded lamely that he didn’t feel like “spending a day with a bunch of naked men.”

As soon as the call was finished, the owner briefed the receptionist with the little information he had about the caller, ending with: “if this person does show up, keep an eye on him and let me know. He won’t be coming in.”

While we finished our breakfast chat with the owner, we tried to analyse what just happened. In theory, there’s nothing wrong with having a preference for whom you want to spend your time with. But it’s an awkward thing to ask in a naturist context. If this guy wanted to go out for drinks tonight, do you think he’d also call the bar upfront to enquire about the gender balance? We all agreed that he probably wouldn’t.

We also agreed that this question, coming from a man, was a strong indicator of his intentions. Based on this, the owner decided to turn down a potential guest to make sure that the resort remained comfortable for the other guests.

Scenarios

We tried to come up with scenarios for how this situation could have been different. What if the caller had said that his wife would feel uncomfortable if there were only men? Now that would be a completely different story. What if it had been a woman who enquired about the presence of other women? And most importantly, what if this man hadn’t called, but just shown up?

In the case of the latter, he might be able to do some damage, but as soon as someone complains, he would be kicked out. This is something we’re glad to say would happen at almost all naturist resorts. Safety and comfort are always the highest values. Much more than just another entry fee.

We then started thinking: Does this also say anything about the female naturist? We proudly hold gender equality in very high regard as naturists, yet we seem to feel a need to safeguard women from the ‘outside world.’ We concluded that the focus on safety is precisely the spot where the naturist philosophy intersects with women’s rights. For decades, the fight for liberation has been fought on many fronts: the workplace, the ballot box, and at home. But in naturism, that fight is often about something more primal: the right to exist in one’s own skin without being reduced to an object of someone else's entertainment.

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True gender equality in a naturist setting isn't just about having an equal number of men and women. It is about the quality of the atmosphere. When a man asks, "Will there any women?" he is often looking to ‘improve’ his own experience by making others uncomfortable. When a woman asks the same question, she is usually looking for a community that understands her vulnerability. The liberation that’s so much talked about in naturism is the freedom for a woman to shed her clothes and, in doing so, shed the ‘male gaze’ that follows her through her clothed life.

More than protecting people or protecting specific genders, we are protecting a culture. By turning down that one booking, the owner did a lot for gender equality by sending a clear message: women are not one of the ‘amenities’ of the resort.

And in a world that still struggles to learn that lesson, perhaps the naturist world can, once again, lead the way by showing that true freedom starts with respect.

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